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Found in a tattered hand bag in Queen
Nynca's dustless attic is this rare picture of AN and ASSS as mere urchins on
the steps of pappy's humble abode deep in the hills of Alabamy. The
girls' true natures were becoming apparent even then.... Poor little
ASSS....since that time it has been difficult to capture her elusive
being on camera. She loved dear little cud'n Homer, but AN done stole
his heart away with her weasely, wiley, demure little ways. It is
rumored that Homer died in a defenestration but we all know there are
no windows near stills - so maybe the rumor that he drowned in one of
AN's pappy's stills is more likely - however, no proof has ever been
adequately brought to the light of day. We can only wonder all these
years later.... Did ASSS defenestrate him or ply him with likker and
do away with him in the source of his second love... will we ever
solve this deadly mystery of love, lust, passion, reckless drunkenness
and violence?
(Evidence has come to light, however, that
ASSS's pouchy little pockets were, indeed, full of snails and dead
crickets and possum leavings.... ooh, look at that scowl. Now look at AN's
prissy little folded hayands.... not to mention cud'n Homer's smug
little smahl.... Poor little scruffy-toed ASSS. YA jist gotta luv 'er. She done wapped 'em
upside the hayad jist after this here picture were taken by AN's ol' Pappy.
And, no, we don't know which pappy that were... she dun had so many of
'em. Tarnation, she be a evil being what do torment Poor ASSS.
Tarnation. An NO, I ain't parshul ta ASSS. I AIN'T.) |
